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I don't know why I can't tell anyone why I'm so upset. It just stops at the lips like I'm scared or something and I lie and this is bad... I guess. I want to be strong and just not be sad for the sake of everyone around me but I really can't. I can't... I CAN'T.

I actually keep thinking that I'm not supposed to be here. Like someone messed up my stationing orders and I ended up in some installation that ends up being hit by some freak attack from some assailant of unknown origin and the only thing I can do is curl up in the corner of my head and repeatedly state that "I wasn't even supposed to be here."

There is always the mundane reality that I could be going insane but if I know I'm going doesn't that defeat the requirements of being insane. I'm perfectly aware of all the signs, I just really can't stop them. I find myself talking to myself and imagining things to be real.

It would be funny if I ended up in a mental institution. In a really dark humor kind of way. I've always wished to be more unique... what's more unique then being crazy. There's only a handful of them, while there are millions of you.

Oh somebody is going to troll this hardcore someday and it's going to make me soooo upset.